By: Pat Griffin
The coach-athlete relationship has the potential to be rewarding and even life changing in many positive ways for both the coach and the athletes. Most athletes can easily identify a revered coach whose ability to lead them to their best athletic performances and call forth the best in them as human beings earned that coach a special place in their life. Most coaches are trustworthy and ethical professionals who know how to work with young athletes in respectful and appropriate ways that do not take advantage of the trust athletes and their parents place in them. Because of the intensity of competition and the time coaches and athletes spend together, the potential for inappropriate relationships exists, especially if coaches are unethical or immature. Coaches must understand and honor appropriate boundaries in their relationships with athletes if they want to earn the respect of their team members and their parents.
Parents are entitled to assurances that the adults who coach their children are ethical professionals who respect appropriate interaction boundaries between coaches and athletes. Coaches need to set appropriate boundaries in their relationships with athletes regardless of the athlete's age. Even when athletes are college age or older and a consensual sexual relationship between a coach and an athlete occurs, these relationships are never acceptable regardless of the gender or sexual orientation of the people involved.
Some parents cite fears about sexual predation as the reason they are concerned about their son or daughter playing on a team coached by a gay man or lesbian. The sexual predator myth is a damaging stereotype that can ruin the careers of ethical and knowledgeable lesbian and gay coaches and teachers. Coaches should be judged on their ethical behavior, professional standards, and coaching abilities not their sexual orientation or gender. This criteria applies to all coaches regardless of their sexual orientation.
No evidence supports the claim that lesbian and gay coaches pose a greater sexual threat to young athletes than coaches who are heterosexual. In fact, police statistics support the contention that sexual abuse or harassment is more likely to occur between adult males and young girls. This is not to suggest that males should be prohibited from coaching young girls, but that all coaches, male and female, should be vetted to assure that they are trustworthy and ethical leaders as well as knowledgeable about their sport.
Many reasons support setting and maintaining a clear relationship boundary between coaches and athletes. Inherent power inequities between coaches and athletes make it unlikely that these relationships are truly equal or consensual. Coaches are older, more experienced, and have power over an athlete's career. The coach determines who starts, who gets playing time, and can even influence future coaching career or competitive opportunities for some athletes. These factors create the potential for the abuse of power and coercion in a sexual relationship. Moreover, the potential for long-lasting psychological harm for young athletes is also present in these unequal relationships.
A coach-athlete sexual relationship can also be a disruption and distraction for the coach, the athlete involved and for the rest of the team. If the relationship is secret, the coach and athlete are deceiving other members of the team, parents and athletic administrators. This deception is a distraction to the coach, the athlete and affects their interactions with the rest of the team. If the relationship is common knowledge among the team, it creates awkwardness, resentment and concerns about favoritism and trust. Athletes are often drawn into keeping the secret against their better judgment for the sake of protecting the team from public embarrassment. The coach's ability to make fair decisions comes into question and other athletes can lose respect for the coach and their teammate for violating this relationship boundary and creating an uncomfortable situation for all.
Policy Recommendations to Address Coach-Athlete Sexual Relationships:
- Develop a zero tolerance policy for coach-athlete sexual relationships and make sure all coaches know about it in a coaches' handbook or as part of a coaching ethics statement. Make the consequences of a relationship clear in the policy: The coach will lose her or his job.
- Include the policy in coach and other staff orientation programs and material. This is particularly important in schools where part-time coaches and other athletic staff are not full-time employees of the school or where there is a high turn-over rate for coaches.
- If a possible coach-athlete relationship comes to the attention of the athletic director, S/he should talk to the coach about it to determine if it is true. Caution the coach about the rumors, if it is not. If there is a relationship between a coach and athlete, ask for the coach's resignation.
- Educate athletes and parents about coach-athlete relationship policies.
- Educate coaches about the possibility of athletes developing a “crush” on them or romantic interest in them. Make sure coaches understand the importance of maintaining a respectful and appropriate boundary in interacting with athletes. Even if an athlete expresses an interest in a romantic relationship with the coach, it is the coach's responsibility to maintain appropriate boundaries.
- Coaches should avoid situations with athletes that could be misinterpreted as sexual or romantic. Being alone with an athlete in a private settings outside the athletic context (or even within the athletic context) invites rumor and speculation..
Resources
- C. Brackenridge and S. Kirby. PLAYING SAFE: Assessing the Risk of Sexual Abuse to Elite Child Athletes. International Review for the Sociology of Sport, December 1, 1997; 32(4): 407 - 418.